Date: Mon, 5 Feb 1996 14:06:43 -0800
From: "connole_rj_ray (184864)" (connole@lvs-emh.lvs.loral4tag.com)
Subject: episode fixes

Greetings Alphans,

Just to see how people feel about their favorite season I propose
a fan fix.  All of us have our .02 worth on how an episode should
have been now let's see for fun's sake how Breakaway could have been
made beter.  Flaws:  No Earth based scenes or space station scenes
with the Meta crew.  The radiation sickness was not addressed after
this episode.  No Earth side view of the departing moon and its effects
on Earth.  No explanation of why Alpha can receive at interstellar
and broadcast at the same not maintain any further contact with Earth.
I would have added some filler as in Alien Attack and filled in the 
blanks as listed above.  My second jab will be a year two episode.
The Bringers of Wonder could have been much better if it had opened
more intelligently.  Flaws:  Koenig's joyride and how it looked like
a Plan 9 sfx.  The fire inside the eagle not going out when the rescue
team arrived.  Koenig being fully dressed as he is wheeled to the medlab.
Don't patients wear hospital garb when admitted?  The swifts arrival was
cheaply done.  Gwent in the Infernal Machine was done better.  The music
didn't blend to match the pace of the story.  The ending was too Star Trek.
By that I mean instead of a harder ending it ended on a fluff note.
I'd fix this episode with a better score to follow the story.  Explain
why Koenig was checking the waste area.  IMO he discovered the aliens
who promptly whammied his head and turned him into an idiot.  Koenig should
have been shown being diagnosed and hurried ER style to the medlab not 
a leisurly stroll down the hall.  More detail paid to the Swift and its
arrival to fool the audience into thinking it was real.  Koenig should 
have come to the Command Center at the end of part 1.  That would have been
a cliffhanger with him seeing the aliens and freaking while everyone can't
understand why he lost it.  In Part 2 I would have fixed the revelation
to all the Alphans with the aliens not leaving for a while really sending
a panic through the base.  And lastly I would have rewrote the ending 
entirely.  Koenig should have left off with how to tell the base it was
all a trick and how can we be sure of anything from now on?  An open door
to a return of the aliens could have been provided with a better ending
dialog and a shot of aliens fading near a waste dome.  Remember they only 
faded out and not die a glorious 1999 style death.  Koenig falling asleep
in his chair was too big a letdown after such a battle.  That's my 2 cents
worth



Date: Mon, 5 Feb 1996 19:09:08 -0800
From: gwr@easy44net.co.uk (Gareth Randall)

>Flaws:  No Earth based scenes or space station scenes
>with the Meta crew.  The radiation sickness was not addressed after
>this episode. 

Possibly because the cause - the waste area - blew up. End of radiation
sickness problem, beginning of rather more pressing dilemma!



Date: Tue, 6 Feb 1996 08:16:01 -0800
From: "connole_rj_ray (184864)" (connole@lvs-emh.lvs.loral4tag.com)
Subject: fixes part II

Hello all,

I was thinking some more on episode fixes again.  In the spirit of
fun I've chosen another couple of episodes to tweak.  First off is the
Metamorph.  A good story and plot yet could do with a few tweaks to
improve it.  First off, three or four lines to clear up Kano, Morrow
and Bergman's absence in Helena's report.  An explanation of the new
Command Center replacing Main Mission.  A little banter of the staff
on the uniform changes as a morale booster.  Next would be a scene of
Mentor and Psyche watching the recon eagle approaching.  There would
be a rapport between Mentor and Pschye. Show how the machine manipulates
Mentor into doing braindrains.  Let the audience see Psyche have its own
agenda and promising Mentor a new Psychon if he only does this one thing.
Really spice it up with Psyche having the voice of Mentors wife and its
effect on him.  This will show Mentor is being duped into his actions.
After Koenigs eagle is captured they should explore a few ships on their
way to the cave, this will show signs of struggles and that the crews
went unwillingly.  When Koenig has the final showdown with Mentor let
Mentor see all the evil Psyche has done.  Instead of Koenig smashing
Psyches machinery let it be Mentor.  As he smashes the machine it could
be begging him to stop because it loves him.  Mentor could redeem himself
by taking Psyche with him in death.  In the Alphans escape they take the
survey eagle too.  This is all fluff in my mind to improve the story and not
slam it.  My next episode is The End of Eternity.  While it is one of my
favorites it could have ended better.  I would have made a spookier closing.
Balor was released by the Alphans using a remote control and would have
not have alerted the living rock that Balor escaped.  But when the rock was
shattered its built in regenerative factor would know Balor had broken out.
As Balor floated in space it would have been great to see the rock beginning
to reform around Balor and his screams of panic as he realized he would
always be a prisoner of the rock.  It would always find him and seal itself 
around him.  Just my spin on a story.  Anybody else want to give this a
shot?